Hey there, tech enthusiasts! So, Apple has decided to dip its toes into the world of Artificial Intelligence, and it’s called – wait for it – Apple Intelligence. Ooooh, fancy! You know, because it’s not just intelligence, it’s got that sleek, shiny Apple polish. But here’s the kicker: Unless you live in a very specific part of the world, have the latest hardware, the newest OS, and speak perfect English—well, sorry pal, this revolutionary piece of tech probably won’t be available for you. Classic Apple, right?

Apple AI with original idea, right? RIGHT?

Let’s break it down. You’ve heard the buzz. “Apple is going big into AI,” they say. Everyone’s getting excited, imagining Siri finally being able to understand their coffee order without turning it into a request for “seriously over-roasted beans” (it happens!). But here’s the fun part: Apple Intelligence is almost as exclusive as that VIP lounge in a club you can only peek into but never enter. Not because you’re not cool enough, but because you don’t own their newest everything.

iEverything – obviously classic Apple

Now, if you’re thinking, “Okay, cool, I’ll just update my iPhone to get in on this AI action!”—I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s not that simple. If you’re still rocking an iPhone 11 or using your trusty old iPad Pro, yeah… good luck with that.

Apple Intelligence apparently requires ALL the latest gadgets. We’re talking about new iPhones, new iPads, new Macs, and probably your neighbor’s cat having the latest iCollar. Just kidding (or am I?). So, unless you’re willing to upgrade your whole tech ecosystem just to talk to an AI that Apple claims will blow your mind, it’s not happening.

And hey, this isn’t just me being dramatic. Apple has always had this “exclusive, sleek, only for the elite” vibe. They’ve taken it to a whole new level here. For those of us still paying off the last Apple device we bought (and maybe our souls with it), getting access to Apple Intelligence is about as likely as finding a golden ticket to the chocolate factory.

Sorry, Europe (and everyone else)

But wait, it gets better! If you’re reading this from Europe or pretty much anywhere outside of North America… I’ve got some more bad news for you. Apple Intelligence isn’t even available in most countries yet. Yes, the world’s most renowned tech giant decided to unleash its AI, but only in a very select part of the globe.

Now, I know Apple tends to be cautious about global rollouts, but come on! Europe is sitting here with some of the most sophisticated tech laws, high-speed internet, and let’s not forget… actual Apple Stores in every major city. But nah, Apple Intelligence apparently likes to stay stateside for now.

It’s like Apple saw all of Europe raising their glasses of fine wine, throwing up their hands, and saying, “Why not us?” And Apple just kind of shrugged and said, “We’ll get to you… eventually… maybe.”

Do uou speak English? No? Good luck

Let’s say you do manage to jump all the hurdles, you’ve upgraded your gear, moved to the right country, and signed your life away. You’re probably thinking, “Great! Now I can finally use this thing!”—except… not quite. The AI only speaks English. Yeah, that’s right. Apple Intelligence is a monolingual masterpiece, so unless your English is on point, it’s not going to understand a thing you’re saying.

Imagine the irony of someone in Paris, clutching their latest iPhone 15 Pro Max, trying to get Apple Intelligence to order a croissant—and being met with a confused virtual assistant who’s like, “Sorry, I only understand ‘donut.’”

Apple’s made great strides in languages over the years (I mean, Siri can almost understand French now), but apparently, when it comes to AI, we’re back to square one. Apple Intelligence is like that friend who refuses to travel because they only know one language and are too stubborn to learn another.

Why is Apple doing this?

So, you might ask, “Why is Apple limiting their AI in such a ridiculous way?” And here’s where it all starts to make sense—because it’s Apple! They’ve always had a knack for creating FOMO. They’re playing the long game. They’ll get the early adopters, the people who just have to have the latest thing, no matter how exclusive or limited it is.

They’ve got the perfect recipe for creating hype: make it limited, make it exclusive, make it available to a small group of people, and—boom! Everyone else wants it. Eventually, they’ll probably roll out Apple Intelligence to more countries, support more languages, and maybe, just maybe, even support devices that are older than six months. But by then, we’ll all be clamoring for it, and they’ll be sitting back counting their billions.

But hey, it’ll probably be awesome

Here’s the thing: as much as we might poke fun at Apple’s exclusivity, Apple Intelligence will probably be incredible. When it’s finally available to the masses (which could take a while), I’m betting it’ll be polished, smooth, and borderline magical. That’s the beauty of Apple’s ecosystem: they may take their time, they may require you to sacrifice your wallet at the altar of Cupertino, but when they deliver—man, do they deliver.

But for now? I guess we’ll just have to sit back and watch as a handful of lucky folks chat with Apple Intelligence, while the rest of us sit here with our slightly older iPhones and dreams of AI sophistication. Maybe next year, right?

So, if you’re reading this on anything older than the newest MacBook Air or iPhone, don’t hold your breath. Apple Intelligence is out there, somewhere, in a parallel universe where only the most devoted Apple fans get to play. The rest of us? We’ll be here, refreshing our system updates and waiting for that magical day when it’s our turn.

While the sources explain what Apple Intelligence is and list compatible devices, they do not state that it is unavailable in Europe. The sources say that Apple Intelligence is “initially available in U.S. English” and “coming this fall.” This suggests that it will be available in other languages and regions later on, but the sources do not provide specific details on this.

Let’s see what AI say about the newest Apple product

This document, likely an Apple press release or product announcement, outlines the upcoming launch of “Apple Intelligence,” an AI-powered feature set for iPhones, iPads, and Macs. It promises to revolutionise everyday tasks, from writing and communication to visual creation and personal assistance, by leveraging the power of AI while ensuring user privacy. “Apple Intelligence” will be integrated into existing features like Siri and Writing Tools, and will also enable new capabilities in apps like Photos, Notes, and Mail.

Now, let’s hear it:

https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/953fae8d-5ef2-4e41-aaac-d3338278f332/audio

PS. This article was wrote with small support of AI, naturally, but idea and brief is mine. Not sure where this trend is going, but my plan is to be pretty transparent about that. If you have any idea or comments, feel free to let me know. PS.2. This part is 100% human-writing.